Ruby's Poetry

My paternal grandmother was one who had an affinity with the written word.  She was often funny, I recall a parody of The Night Before Christmas - not suitable for children, and in general (since we clearly don't) in my family we say she had a "way with words".

I arrived home from work the other night to a stack of unusual documents my mother brought by having discovered them rummaging through an old box in storage.  Among the curious aged documents was the ever familiar yellowed, crinkled typing paper I recognized without a doubt as the typed words from Granny.  This page included 2 poems.  By the nature of their content and tone I suspect they were likely written at a time of hardship for her (of which there were plenty in her life).  As my eyes pour over her words, and now an adult myself, I find I relate to her words more than ever before. My heart is full as I feel her presence with me and my throat is choked as I empathize with her soul.

Since you've been so kind as to indulge me this far, I present to you an act of preservation of her words - for the stained paper I know will not last forever.  Here are the two found poems by Ruby Spalding, the formatting maintained (as best I can) just as her fingers originally typed them.  This post is dedicated to my son, who also reckons himself a poet. You and Granny would have gotten on well!

Death Passed By

Death came whistling by and paused to tap upon my door;

Storm signals were showing, alas, but he tapped no more;

I waited patiently, listening quietly there in the gloom      

 For the return of the one who had in his hand my doom.    

        Grotesque shadows began to leer, but my heart was minus fear,

Only a sense of light expectancy as Death hovered near.   

Little birds sang my funeral march as I lay waiting there, 

    Little throats gave subdued notes a melody unique and rare;

My heart filled to bursting and light flooded my tired soul

   As I waited eagerly, breathlessly for the bell that was to toll

       And ring out the message that I was to start now without delay

       From this tired old home of mine to the new one far, far away. 

   The cautious shadows were dear faces, I kissed them adieu--

  As I whispered the secret of the old world and the new.        

         The long, weird shadows gradually grew dim-                      

  The night became light and still no word of him;                  

  My tired soul strengthened and I heard my heart say:           

"Tis well. Death passed me by but he'll return another day.

Mother of Mine

Mother of mine, the days are long and weary;     

 The path where I must walk is dim and dreary;     

           I miss your loving presence, day by day

  I need your care-can you look down to guide me?

             And can you hear the tender words I say?

Mother of mine, when my weak soul would falter, 

I guild me, with my memories, an altar,                 

                 And there I lay the griefs I cannot bear;

Kneeling before that shrine, your love enfolds me

Until the peace of your dear spirit holds me,          

          And whispered sounds of you are in my ear.

Mother of mine, while thus so far asunder               

Heaven's distance keeps us, guard me lest I blunder

                        Far from the path where your own feet have passed;

Lest this long waiting should much oppress me,      

      Grant me your prayers that God may stoop to bless me,

                                     And at his feet unite our souls at last.

Why I Voted For Mitt

I'm not Republican nor a Christian. I lean towards Libertarian if I have to pick, though they like any organized followers of a philosophy can be too extreme for my taste. But the premise of protecting the individual before the mass I most certainly agree with.  I prefer Wicca for my “religion”, not because I actually believe in the magic, rather because I recognize the importance of ritual and ceremony and the pagan traditions resonate more comfortably with me, plus I enjoy their curiosities.  I am most definitely pro-choice and believe gay people should be allowed to marry each other and adopt children if they want to. Though I would argue that they are fighting for the wrong thing, for the State should have nothing to do with marriage. I am against Affirmative Action and am one who despite the color of my skin, has actually felt very real racism directed at me because of the spelling of my name – I don’t pretend to understand the true oppression many people of color have experienced, but for the few direct instances of “mistaken racism” that I have experienced, I am confident there are plenty of cases where I didn’t get a call for a job interview because the viewer of my resume assumed I was black.  I am for the legalization of marijuana and believe that if you want something you work to earn it.

My mission in voting this year was to undo the madness that has been running this country into the ground for the past several decades.  I believe the workings of our system were set up to do this over a long period of time starting with Woodrow Wilson.  I am certainly not a supporter of Bush (either one) and recognize W. as the start of the latest chapter in our Nation's problems, with Obama taking on the task with warp speed. I normally would vote outside of the two party system, but this year there was an urgency to stop the madness and so I went for the candidate most likely to win over the incumbent.

Admittedly I voted against Obama before I voted for Romney.  But Romney is not without his merits.

So rather than tell you all the things I dislike and distrust about the Obama administration, I thought I would go ahead and make a case for Mitt, mainly because it is surprising to me how many people were surprised I would back such a conservative candidate (they clearly think I’ve been voting differently than I have up till now).

People have tried to reason with me because I’m a woman saying Romney will overturn Roe vs. Wade.  I never questioned Romney’s personal view on abortion – his faith would dictate that he is a pro-life candidate.  But you see, the President cannot arbitrarily over turn a case that has already been ruled on by the Supreme Court – he would first need to sue within the system in order to get it before the Supreme Court and it would need to be argued through the system on some other grounds than what it has already been tried.  If the Supreme Court would even take on such a suit, we have enough liberal justices on the court to pretty much insure that it would not be overturned.  The fact is Roe v. Wade was never under any real threat.  The most Romney may have hoped to actually accomplish on this front would be the appointment of conservative justices should any of the current justices retire or die.

People have tried to reason that gays won’t be allowed to be married under Mitt, or that my stance on marijuana is in contradiction to Mitt’s.  People have even tried to argue that Romney and Obama are for the same government controlled health care that I oppose.  And on the surface these would seem like all good reasons, considering my views, to not vote for Mitt. But they miss one very crucial point that out weigh all of these reasons to oppose Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney is a man with a lot of character to back himself with.  He seems like an honest individual and I respect anyone who would refuse a salary he doesn’t actually need, in favor of staying on budget and accomplishing the underlying goal. Amongst the many reasons his supporters would tell you to vote for Mitt, there are two that I would tell you are the reasons to vote for Mitt.  First he’s a businessman and we have an economic crisis on our hands.  The first rule you learn in business is that it is a system of trials.  If what you try doesn’t work, you scrap it and try something else – survival is always the key and continuing down a path that will sink you in debt and doesn’t operate on a budget is not a way to continue in business unless you wish to fail.  Mitt is a proven business owner who clearly understands the bottom line, how to work with a budget – how to actually get one in the first place – and he has a keen understanding of negotiations which he has demonstrated in both his private business ventures and his political career. 

The second and really key reason to root for Romney is his value of State’s rights.  You see Romney isn’t necessarily for government run health care, but his constituency in Massachusetts is.  As their governor he took their desire and negotiated a plan to make it sustainable working with all in leadership in Mass. to accomplish this want of the people of his state. The same can be said of same- sex marriage, where Mass. is the keystone state on this movement despite Romney’s obvious opposition.  The people voted and he accepted what it was that they decisively said they wanted.  What a nifty idea – a politician who actually represents the people he leads instead of forcing his own agenda once elected! 

Roe v Wade, gay marriage, access to healthcare and contraception, freedom of speech and religion, all were never under threat from Romney.  His first priority was the economy as it should be.  His second is State’s rights.  Like many Americans and our Federalist forefathers, Romney believes the States should be the laboratory for democracy. If a State fails in their democratic experiments, the rest of the country can collectively lend a hand (if necessary) and the country, as a whole doesn’t come to a crashing halt.  The minute the Federal government starts to experiment with how democracy works best for the nation as a whole, we lose our freedom to choose, we lose the security of our equal but separate States and we lose the freedom to observe what works and what doesn’t – it becomes the president’s way or the highway for the whole country.  In fact the only thing under threat with a Romney administration was maybe the 17^th amendment and that is a threat to overturn I can get on board with!

Well the dust has cleared and history has been written once again; Romney officially retired from politics. So what will our incumbent president elect do about the economic crisis? What will the people actually expect from him?  After exit polls showing 54% of American’s unhappy with the current status of the country, I cannot fathom why on earth the majority voted us back into the exact same situation they are complaining of.  We seem to be experiencing the definition of insanity as a country and that is certainly troublesome and I truly hope we are not too late to repair the damage done.  Who will be the next candidate to offer us the hope of change?  Will there be another opportunity? I don’t know the answers to these questions and while I certainly do not believe the sun rose and set within Mitt Romney, if we should be graced with another opportunity to vote for our leaders, I hope at least one of our candidates has as much strength of character and fortitude as Mitt Romney. I hope we as a nation see through the rhetoric of talking points designed to keep us divided.  Mostly I just hope we get another chance.

on a note from a friend

"you're a blithe spirit and I've never seen you angry. Makes me all the more suspicious of the transformation. Honestly, your political posting are so cynical and negative I interpret them as angry. I think you're under some sort of spell..."

or perhaps, there is more to this girl than just a pretty face....

Race for Koman

Make no mistake... Breast cancer has afflicted my family for generations and I am an ardent supporter of the cause because like so many of you, it has affected me very closely and even I myself cannot deny the elevated risk level I live with everyday simply due to my heritage. But the Susan G. Komen foundation seems to have lost sight of its cause and I think Ms. Komen would be as dumbfounded as I if she could see the foundation conglomerate that bears her name.

The Komen foundation has become nothing more than another greedy corporation, “non-profit” in name only. Now I am also a supporter of business... by all means if you can succeed and be profitable in this economy of all times, then I wish you well and believe we all benefit from your successes. But a non-profit should not be a business... it should be run like a business if only to best manage the income they do receive vs the cost to operate at all. But Komen has gotten more and more greedy over the years and less and less philanthropic.

I am of the opinion that my business should be business and philanthropy philanthropy. But Komen does all this wonderful charity work and breast cancer awareness and education, you say. Yes they certainly do and have, but they've grown so big that they have swayed the common belief to be that breast cancer is some what epidemic and surely the biggest killer of women. But every day more women die of a heart attack, often because they recognize the symptoms. Yes, heart disease is the number one killer of women. And what about all those other cancers out there? The American Cancer society has to cover all of them and does a damn fine job of it, but when someone says cancer, and especially if referring to a woman having it, the number one type of cancer that is thought of is breast cancer.

There is an entire industry based in pink paraphernalia, and the fundraisers are sometimes costing so much to operate that the participant is to raise enough funds just to earn their keep, lest they be charged for the balance... yes a friend of mine was actually required to write a check for the remaining balance of what was set as her fund raising “goal” when she fell shy of it in her efforts. A group of dancers/dance teachers organized at least a decade ago, as that is when I started dancing and it was in place then, to hold an annual fund raiser for breast cancer, and the funds even were being donated directly to the Susan G. Komen foundation as advertised. They called it “Shimmy for the Cure” (we're belly dancers, its works) and for many years it was a terrific success. A few years ago, the one and only benefactor of this cause contacted my friends who organize it and told them to stop using the term “for the cure” as the Komen foundation had trade marked it.

But think of all the good they do. Yes they educate and even help those who qualify with their expenses... but what about those who don't “qualify” for help? What about the local Denver woman who had insurance, until she could no longer work due to chemo and ended up losing her home, her car, everything (except her battle with cancer thankfully) and why was she not eligible? Because on paper she made too much money and had some form of insurance at the time of her diagnosis. Insurance helps, but it doesn't take care of mortgage payments and power bills when cancer takes over your life. Women and men fighting cancer don't need additional worries while fighting for their lives.

So for all you "Occupy" folks forking the dough over, I'll say it again...The Komen foundation has become a greedy corporate entity who is "non-profit" in name only. Perhaps they still offer value, but in their own race to be the definitive coalition on breast cancer, they've left Susan and those they started the race for sadly behind.

A Rose is a Rose... a look at the hypocrisy of political correctness

(warning intentionally offensive language is used to illustrate the point of this essay)

I truly don't understand this growing double standard in our culture when it comes to name calling for a political purpose. I have alleged “friends” that persist in calling a growing group of individuals who lean fiscally conservative and are utilizing our governmental processes to slowly get things turned around govern-mentally speaking, “Tea Baggers” – they were voted in because believe it or not, outside of each coast, they are indeed a fair representation of the heart and center of this country.

Having unfortunately been around another group of hateful people I have know this term to be used in abundance as a gay slur, I didn't approve of it in those circumstances and I don't approve of it in political debate regardless of your homophobia or acceptance. Yet many of those who I have defended when this intentional insult has been slung at them, are now using this same insult against a growing segment of the population who is simply trying to tell government that their two party antics are no longer acceptable to this larger than you might want to believe grass roots effort.

This essay is not to defend nor promote the actions of the tea party movement. What I am wanting to illustrate is how far political correctness has gone to raise the standards of conduct that we not resort to name calling when it comes to any type of debate. Yet now those same folks who have fought so hard to censor our speech and how we define, discuss and direct our commentary to or about anyone who is not a straight Caucasian, are now unapologetically resorting to the same antics they have fought so hard to rid our culture of... and as their “opponent” you are expected to hold up your own decorum and refrain from such cheap slings while they throw intentional insult after insult.

So now when these “friends” of mine (a few are actually family), all of whom I speak of in this instance happen to also be proudly gay or bisexual, start calling me and an entire group of the populace, that is far larger and grander sweeping than their little gay pride movement (which it should be noted I support 100%), Tea Baggers, I always ask them to refrain from such name calling. Not only do they persist with the name calling, but they have gone so far as to DEFEND it!!

So now I would like to defend my right to call them Faggots whenever I deem it an appropriate term (with some of their individual behavior it absolutely IS appropriate at times) and every black person shall be from here on out called a Nigger and I will not stop before I call a Jew a Jew and a Spade a Spade... are you a spoiled rich girl of Jewish lineage? Then from here on out you are a JAP when you display your true JAP colors. If you are Hispanic and refuse to speak English or Spanish with me simply because I am white (you know who you are and I do know what pinche juera means) you will from now on be dubbed a Spic.

I have been called a hypocrite because I put my son in a public school that as a homeowner I actually pay property taxes to support so that my son CAN go to school. But these fags and their hags and the spics here illegally and the niggers that think they need retribution from ME for something that happened before any of us were even a consideration in this world, they are evidently perfectly within their rights to not censor themselves and call me a Tea Bagger and don't ever actually fall into the category of hypocrisy for their antics. And don't even get me started on the lack of respect for the individual they are slinging these at when they categorize and sling their insults to not just this one person, but an entire segment of the population as a whole – somehow suggesting they personally should be considered as an individual but I should be lumped into a group that all deserve the insult.

The point is that we have been asked to censor ourselves to ultimate end, and yet legally I am perfectly within my own rights to NOT censor myself and call them whatever insulting derogatory name I feel like calling them or anyone I may disagree with. Yet time and again I refrain (in fact it has never occurred to me to lash out at those who oppose me with derogatory names, especially those I would also call “friend”), asking only that they adhere by their own rules. It's like playing a game with my 7 year old who wants to change all of the rules to suit himself regardless of how impossible it makes it to actually play the game.

The fact of the matter is that name calling is nothing more than an emotional reaction when you have no other argument. It is in fact a sign of defeat. And so like children we change the rules of the game to suit ourselves so that we can feel like we won something or have a chance to win. Name calling is the easy way out of an argument, because it shows you are only out to insult, not gain in-site nor provide any.

So when you are ready to play fair, I believe we can have a great dialogue. This will require however that you actually bring something to the table besides mud and arrows... we are not at war, we are having a debate about what to do, where to go from here. I love to discuss these ideas with folks actually willing to do the work it requires so that we can all grow to be better people, and show each other the real respect we each deserve as individuals. You insist on slinging insults, then you are clearly not interested in a solution to what ever problem is being debated and therefore are nothing more than a problem yourself.

Failure is ALWAYS an Option

You know you hear things and read things and when they come true before your very eyes it leaves you speechless. For years I have listened to G's conspiracy theories and his acceptance to be considered a "nut job" for living in an "X-files" episode of government take-over... for years now he's been spouting about Cloward and Piven so much so that I was compelled (with his encouragement) to do research myself on that infamous duo... amongst the Utopian dreams and the plan to get there as detailed out by Cloward-Piven, there are many key terms, one of which is the "New Economy"... a design to bankrupt and effectively destroy the current government in play so the the US can be rebuilt in their Utopian image...

My heart sank when watching government economists who months ago were reporting that even more money needed to be thrown into the stimulus to get us out of now the official 2nd dip of this "double dip" recession now stating that this is in fact the "New Economy" and we just need to get used to it...

I would much rather my husband be a whack job than correct on this... how did we get here?! Why has the "Me" generation let this happen and what are we in the "X" generation going to have to do to fix it?! I am reminded of the great song writer Kevin Gilbert, "Goodness Gracious" and he only scratched the surface!

The lesson that we must learn and learn NOW is that NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING!!, is too big to fail! Not AIG, not any bank, not even the USSR and yep this includes the good ol' US of A! And failure is what we are on the brink of... but what will you do once the failure is here? It is immanent and as we can see from the current failings of the administration in office, their "plan" isn't even sustainable enough to try to make it work... it is crumbling a part before our very eyes and we the people need to step in and stop the madness!! We can't rely on our parents to fix this, they are already roped in, many of them already dependent on Social Security... it is up to us the X, Y and NOW generations... are you up to the task?

Failure isn't pretty, but sometimes it is necessary... its what you do after failure that shows your character, your value. Parents and teacher will understand this. Sometimes you simply must let someone fail.. failure brings about an opportunity to learn, to rethink and to try again. Failure should be allowed and is a necessary by product of the ability to reason, our basic human ability and need. Failure is always an option and once in a great while it is the answer.

Doomed to Repeat

For anyone who thinks the current economic status was caused by the bank bail out, I offer a brief history lesson... our current economic status began about 30 years ago, when President Carter signed the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977 (with Richard Cloward and Francis Piven at his side interestingly enough) when our righteous government determined that everyone should have the RIGHT to buy a house regardless of their financial ability. What resulted was three decades of banks bending the rules in place to prevent such financial melt downs as we have seen as of late by issuing loans to individuals in record numbers using such practices as "No Income Verification" in exchange for a slightly higher interest rate. This in turn stimulated home building again in record numbers. People without the means were buying up new homes in droves. Then the banks would package and resell these bad loans to other banks creating a viscous cycle of exchange of bad debts.

My own first hand witness is the result of nearly a decade processing these "no income" loans and screaming "fraud" at the top of my lungs only to be met with orders to turn a blind eye and ultimately asking me to resign under the auspices that I called my mother on company time and arrived late to work once... interestingly I pointed out to the higher ups my new sales person turned branch manager was asking us to alter loan documents so that these no income verified loans would go through smoothly... then 2 weeks later when the boss I spoke to was on vacation, she went to another and asked me to be fired. This was the last time I worked in the mortgage industry, and I have not ever looked back.

My husband too was "victim" (for lack of a better word) to this practice in the construction business building a career in designing and building single and multi-family homes in record numbers (while pre-existing homes sat vacant all over the country) only to remain unemployed for 2+ years after the collapse of the construction and mortgage industries and the bank bailouts in the name of TARP - which we the people cried "foul" on, yet re-elected nearly every member of congress who went against their delegates thoughts on the subject. We only worked in these industries because that was where the jobs were, and now those jobs are all but extinct.

Now our righteous government has deemed that every person has a RIGHT to health insurance -- that's right, insurance, NOT care! And now we have a false economy being built in schooling for careers in health care, and in related fields to health care -- after all that's where the jobs are going to be (hmmm, sound familiar?) and interesting that the health care bill even deems what someone must go to school for in order to get financial aid for extended education. My fear is for my child... who will graduate and be entering the work force at about the same time into this new economy as I did in the mortgage industry and his father did in the construction industry.

So what is to become of him and his peers when the insurance companies become too big to fail? We are only in year 3 of recovery from what took 3 decades to create -- does anyone honestly think it will take less than a decade for us to recover from the altruistic intentions of President Carter and his friends Cloward and Piven? And how long will it take to recover from the failings of the altruistic vision of President Obama and his friends Nancy Pelosi and low and behold Mr. Cloward and Ms Piven (interesting friends to have, don't you think)? And how long will it take the American people to learn from their own history?

Utopia is wonderful in theory, but unsustainable in reality. And since when does the constitution guarantee the right to buy a home and to have health insurance regardless if the individual or the country can afford it? Last I read, the Constitution of this great nation only guaranteed the rights to life, liberty and most importantly the PURSUIT of happiness. That's right folks... you aren't guaranteed to actually BE happy, only the right to pursue it. And frankly I am just fine with that... happiness is and should be ultimately up to YOU to create for yourself.

So I ask you to do your homework... really research the facts (seriously use Google for a real purpose and then your own brain to decipher fact from conjecture!) and do not doom the rest of us to a repeat of this horrific economy that is barely being propped up by the government. The government cannot pursue happiness for you, so don't let them and for god's sake if you disagree with what your representatives are doing you have the responsibility to kick them out of office and elect individuals who will actually represent YOU!!!